Don’t try this at home!
I know what you’re thinking–what the heck is this coaching thing, anyway? What’s the point? How does it work? How do you even know who to trust? Well, that’s not even the worst of it. Working with a coach, life/executive or otherwise is, quite frankly, a ridiculous idea. I would know. I AM ONE. And here’s 4 good reasons you’ll want to steer clear:
- Your coach is only your coach. How weird is that? They’re not your friend, your spouse, your pastor, your boss, your sibling, your neighbor…in fact, they’re not tied to you in any way. And what, you’re just supposed to share your goals and dreams with them? They won’t even be affected at all by your choices! I mean, wouldn’t you rather talk with people who have a personal stake in everything you say? People who have endless opinions of what you should do, who believe they know better than you and aren’t afraid to say so? I don’t care if it provides uncomfortable relational baggage, that’s the way things are supposed to be, right?! But with a coach, it’s like they’re just 100% committed to your agenda or something. I mean, weird, right? Just imagine. Putting you first. Who ever heard of such a thing?!
- That’s the second thing. They’re so darned focused on you! You’ll be quoting Regina George in no time and saying “why are you so obsessed with me?” I mean, gross. All they’ll care about is you, listening to what you say, responding and inquiring about your goals, obliterating your obstacles and driving you forward, helping you discover your needs, wants, expectations, desires and dreams. I mean, come on! Get a life, buddy! This one’s mine!
- Oh yeah, and guess what? They remember pretty much EVERYTHING YOU SAY. I mean everything! (Probably because they’re so obsessed with you.) And they have the gall to hold you accountable to that! I don’t want some funny guy or gal remembering that time I confessed my dream to write a book, and then a week later having them ask me how my book is going! That’s just plain weird! That’s like taking all my dreams and turning them into work. Even if it’s work that I would love and would probably find completely fulfilling, I just want to pretend everything’s fine and stay exactly where I am in life. Who wants change, amirite?
- They just remind you of your problems. Well, okay, to be fair, what they remind you of are solutions — but solutions are pretty much always rooted in my problems! I don’t want to remember my problems! I just want to ignore them until they go away, or disintegrate into dust and blow away. But coaches are all sitting there, helping me figure out ways to fit writing, or whatever I said I wanted, into my work schedule, and I’m just like–don’t talk to me about work! I leave work to forget about it. And when you forget about your problems, that’s when they go away.
You see, that’s the basic truth no coach will understand. They’ll want to help you find solutions, focus on your goals, hold you accountable to changes you want to make, and equip you to more clearly see how you can become the person you want to be. Can’t they get it? Who needs that kind of pressure?! That’s why I highly recommend avoiding coaches. I mean, with coaches you win championships and achieve dreams and turn into a powerful leader of your own life… and who want that? Well, unless you’re into that kind of stuff. So if you are, I guess you could check it out. But man, it sure is risky. It should come with a warning label: Caution! Coaching could cause uncontrollable smiles, the achievement of dreams, happiness, joy, and endless possibility. Proceed with great enthusiasm–I mean, CAUTION.
Yep, it’s risky alright. And we don’t like risk. Blegh. No risk, no change, and no goals for us.
In other words: the good life!
