Confucius said “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” That’s generally because people spend so much time looking at what needs to be fixed instead of what is already great. Baseball analyst Bill James said it great: “If you can’t learn to do something well, then enjoy doing it badly!” Everything is beautiful, or so the song goes, the question is, what are you looking for - the reasons why something in your life, work or relationship won’t work or the reasons why it will?

Apply this to life. I was shown an article about the seven deadly sins of the workplace recently and asked to comment. My immediate response was that it’s all backwards and focuses on what’s wrong, what won’t work. This topic became a segment I did on AM Northwest, a local ABC affiliate morning show. You can view it here. So what do you get when you turn the seven deadly sins into seven empowering virtues? You get this:

• Pride becomes the virtue of Humility. Instead of being prideful and boastful about only your own accomplishments, trust that your greatness will shine through and make the effort to recognize those with whose help you were able to achieve such greatness. None of us are on the path alone and when people are acknowledged and honored, they are generally grateful want to help you more in return.
• Envy becomes the virtue of Kindness. Instead of envying what others have, revel in their successes. By being excited and positive about their successes, you plant the seed in your subconscious that says “this feels good” even it is someone else’s. As a result, you attract more of that goodness into your life. The feeling of envy only attracts more negative feelings of envy. Kindness, however, attracts kindness.
• Anger becomes the virtue of Calmness. Anger is emotion run amuck. When you feel anger welling up, ask yourself what is good about what is happening right now. Or, in the words of Bill James, if you can’t do it well, i.e. control the situation, how could you enjoy it in its current incantation? Anger is like holding the sponge of your circumstances so tight it can’t absorb anything new. Release the grip and you release the tension, as a result, you become calmer and the sponge can absorb all kinds of new possibilities.
• Greed becomes the virtue of Generosity. And generosity can stem from one powerful question: How can I be of service? Or to paraphrase President Kennedy, ask not what your boss, co-workers or others can do for you, but what can you do for them?
• Sloth becomes the virtue of Active. What can you do right now to move your goal forward? It doesn’t have to be huge. In fact, sometimes it can be quite small; a kind word, a simple gesture, or the choice not to be angry. Too often we miss the monumental little things because we think only the big ones make a difference.
• Glutton becomes the virtue of Moderation. If there is anything health science has taught us, it’s everything in moderation. So I challenge you to have an average day. If every day were phenomenal, spectacular and over the edge, it too would become ordinary by lack of anything greater to compare it to. Remember, Michael Jordon is only tall because people like me are shorter. If everyone were eight feet tall, he’s not that impressive. Moderation is the virtue of reveling in what is, a little bit of great, a little bit of not so great and a little bit of everything in between. And when you take it all together, you get an average, and that is a great place to be – there in the middle of it all.
• Lust becomes the virtue of Presence. Some things take time to build. Get out of the future and give them time to manifest. Get out of the past, it only holds you back. Instead get into the here and now so that you can make the most of the present, that simple and most valuable gift of the now. If it helps, find a touch stone to bring you back to the now, just in case you lose your way once in a while.

With all that is going in the world and our lives, it’s easy to see the sins of the world and all the things that aren’t going well, but if that is your measurement for what is possible in the here and now and into the future, then you will never find what you are looking for. The secret isn’t in fixing your weaknesses, that’s like looking for a sunrise in the west. It’s simply not there. The secret lies in building up your strengths; capitalizing on your virtues.

A five year old neighbor boy was riding his bike this weekend and in the few minutes that his family stepped inside to attend to something else - he took a tumble. Nothing serious, in fact, as far as tumbles go it was fairly low on the Richter scale catastrophe, but to him, it was clearly a big deal. Unfortunately, no matter how loud he cried, mom was nowhere to be found. So I drop my car washing rag and ran over to help. Once we were sure there were no broken bones, gushing blood or other serious injury we were able to discern the root cause of his tears, it was a rip in his bike seat.

“Wow! look at that,” I exclaimed.

“What?” he asked confused, thinking a rip was the end of the world.

“Your bike has a scar!” I said

And he smiled and giggled just a little as he wiped his eyes and said “Oh yeah! just like me” and he pointed to his legs.

“Me too,” I said, “I’ve got bunches of them - knees, arms, elbows…”

“Scars are cool!” He said

“Yeah, they kinda are, aren’t they?”

I just listened to the graduation speech Randy Pausch, the professor who gave that remarkable “Last Lecture” at Carnegie Mellon after learning of his pancreatic cancer and thought of this conversation with my neighbor boy. In this graduation speech Randy talks about how he doesn’t regret the mistakes he’s made or the embarrassing moments of his life, but of the things not done, the chances not taken and the risks not dared. For Randy, fortunately, there are few. For many of us, there are a few too many. Once this five year old boy realized that the damage to his seat was a mark of adventure, the result of pushing harder and trying more, it became a badge of honor, something cool.

Why are so many of us unwilling to make mistakes, unwilling to push just a little harder, afraid of damage. With a little black tape his granddad was able to fix the seat “good as new,” but the boy still knows what happened. And when I asked him about it a couple days later he smiled and said everything was good. Cuts, rips, scars, cracks, scratches, dents, etc. are the evidence of living. The more there are, there more stories there are to tell. If it’s been a while since you or your stuff got a scar, consider pushing the limits a little harder. And if you want the motivation to live life consciously and deliberately, watch the videos of Randy Pausch. It’s time to stop playing it safe. Get a scar!