baby 2Let me ask you what I hope is an easy question: What do you do when a baby cries?  

Usually, you pick them up. Right? You don’t yell at it, ignore it, threaten it, demand it find a different way to communicate with you, or any other action that requires the baby change and adapt to you. The cry is that baby’s only means of communication and you have spent months learning to interpret it.  

So here’s a bold challenge for you: The next time you’re angry at someone for their “crying,” or poor communication, take a moment to see them as a three-month-old. Let that feeling we get when we look at a baby wash all over you. Smile knowing that, for the moment, this is the best they can do  (Perhaps they’re colicky 🙂 ).

Am I advocating removing an adult’s responsibility for their own behavior?  No. I’m simply asking: what might it look like if we assume people are doing their best? Because, honestly, most of the time they are. They no more intend to annoy you then a baby intends to upset you as they cry through the night. They’re just crying for help, and this (whatever behavior is being exhibited) is the best they have to work with at that moment. It will get better, I promise! Babies grow up and learn to sleep and self-sooth and talk; adults, too, learn compassion and wisdom and kindness. Just not all at once.