Note to self: there is a certain beauty, a certain nobility, a certain…“something” in the Divine Dissatisfaction one can find in their work or life. In my striving for perfection and infallibility (is that just me?), it is all too easy to doubt myself when I compare myself to the greatness, to the “divinity,” if you will, of the works of others.Someone will always be better, always be smarter, funnier, stronger, wiser than me.
But that’s not really my measure, is it?
If my purpose is simply to win, to be the best for the sake of being “the best,”anything less is simply a disappointment and ultimately a weapon to be used against me: “I’m a failure, dammit!” “Work harder!!!” “Give it up!” “What the hell is the matter with me?”
But when the goal is perfection in the pursuit of service, not for the winning but for the benefits derived from the pursuit and the realization that every lesson makes me better, stronger, faster, wiser, than disappointment turns to dissatisfaction. It is no longer a weapon to be used against me, but an energy, a source of inspirationthat begs the eternal questions: “How great can I stand it?!” And “what can I do next?”
Divine Dissatisfaction is a power that drives us forward. Doubt, worry, frustration, even disappointment aren’t necessarily the problem–the problem comes when I see those feelings as evidence against me, rather the insights and opportunities wrapped in the lens of Divine Dissatisfaction.
Just something I’ve been thinking about. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
