Do you ever get afraid? Does it stop you? Do you dream of starting a business…but fear failure? Do you dream of being on stage but fear the audition? What would you do if you weren’t afraid? How might you behave differently? Would you throw caution to the wind? Probably not.
We teach our kids to be brave. If our daughters are afraid of public speaking, we don’t let them off the hook because of the fear, we help them overcome that fear – because we know they have something valuable to say.
Fear is a powerful ally, but a terrible leader. Which is it for you? I’m embarrassed to say that it leads me more than I care to admit. It seems like once many of us hit adulthood, we give into fear more easily. We fear our kids walking to school alone. We’re proposing laws to keep out Muslims even though we’re a country founded on religious freedom. There are more and more gated communities popping up. Alarm systems in our home. Fear. So many of these decisions are based on fear, not the joy of possibility, and designed to hold out experiences rather than letting them in.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Those decisions are based on safety, not fear, right? Surely I can’t be advocating carelessness. I’m not. Of course it’s important to listen to common sense! By all means, lock you car, blow the candles out when going to bed…what I am saying, however, is that your perspective when you do so is of vital importance.
Consider skydiving. What a rush! What excitement! What possibility! But to simply jump out of a plane without a parachute is sheer stupidity. We take precautions. We learn how to pack a parachute. We learn to fly/fall with someone experienced. And though I’ve never done it, I imagine that first step from a perfectly good airplane is ridiculously scary.
But we don’t let the fear keep us from the adventure.
Fear informs our decision; it doesn’t control the decision. It’s an easy distinction to miss, but it’s hugely important. I’m not advocating risk for the sake of risk. I’m advocating living a full life. Are the precautions you are taking in your life standing in the way of the experience, limiting the possibility and controlling you? Or are those precautions opening up the possibility, making room for the adventure and putting you in charge of the choices that open up your experiences?
Use fear to let in, rather then hold out.
