Last week we talked about the problem with knee-jerk reactions in the media. But what about our knee-jerk reactions to the media? We live in a world where we can react instantly and anonymously on social media to anything that upsets us. We get offended, annoyed, angry, upset… type a comment and hit ‘send.’ No stopping to pause, to think, to feel, to question, to edit, to find the connecting point, the ways in which the offending commentator might be right…We would never call that person to say what we are about to type, though. That would be WAAAYYYYY too vulnerable–they would know who we are and might even respond to our face – yikes! Can’t have that. We don’t even write an email because that would take us time to compose and we might find ourselves editing, calming down and making a more reasoned response. There’s no room or time for that. Just comment + send.
Because of this current culture, it’s just so easy to respond with our gut, our pain, our knee-jerk reaction. And that’s where the problems start. If we bring it into reality and not just an argument — if we bring it into how we lead in our lives — then it really boils down to asking the question: When we get the hit that says OUCH, that hurts, I disagree, I’m offended — how can we stop and ask whether that offender might be right? That puts us in a state of empathy, in true leadership. Leaders are those, it’s been said, who keep their heads when those around them lose theirs. It’s scary to do something like that. It goes against our fight or flight instinct. But maybe that’s what we need. No, I take that back–it is definitely what we need. So the next time you’re tempted into a knee-jerk response, ask yourself this question: “How are they right?” And then don’t respond until you have an answer. Eventually you will be able to meet Rumi, who said:
“Out there beyond right and wrong is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
