The path of least resistance isn’t always what you think. If you think in terms of nature, it’s pretty obvious: water moving down a mountain takes the path of least resistance, flowing around rocks, under branches, wearing a groove that’s virtually never a straight line. But when we say this about our lives, I think we’re often misusing the phrase.
Recently, a client of mine — let’s call him “Sean” — was thrown into a management job. Sean has limited management experience, and literally no experience in this field. And now his responsibility in this new position is to implement change. As is often the case in such circumstances, his efforts are being met with great resistance, by one employee in particular. This employee is very aggressively against Sean’s work; he’s made it clear that Sean is not welcome and believes that he should have gotten Sean’s job. And Sean, for his part, keeps trying to create change by being a ‘nice’ guy, rather than confronting this employee.
“I’m conflict-averse,” Sean told me. “I’ll avoid conflict at all costs. I don’t want that fight; I’d rather follow ‘the path of least resistance.’ ”
It’s funny–we so often we think the path of least resistance is to simply acquiesce in the face of conflict. But is that really the case? By avoiding the conflict, all you’re doing is prolonging the challenge. Instead of going around it, you keep running into it, and instead of facing it, you just keep running into it, doing the same thing over and over again.
Is it possible that the path of least resistance is actually facing the conflict? Is it possible that, though the conflict looks hard, certainly more difficult that avoiding it, the second we actually face it, it might break up like a pile of sand before a river?
If we’re bold enough to have those difficult conversations, to respect people without backing down, to honor their humanity while calmly and confidently engaging in collaboration, seeing them as a partner rather than an obstacle…well, while that initial hit might be tough, once you go through it, you have a whole new relationship. The water can continue to flow. You can continue based on that new relationship. You can make progress.
Too often us “nice guys” think that conflict is a bad thing. However, once we reframe that thinking, what once looked like the path of great resistance turns out to be the easiest long-term solution. The path that looks the hardest is the one that engages, that begins the change and progress. It’s funny. With people, things are not always what they seem.
