Are you seeking to create systemic, long-lasting, challenge-resistant change with yourself or your team? Read the back of the shampoo bottle.
It’s such a simple process even shampoo companies know its value.
But when it comes to solving problems – the big, hairy, complicated human problems in our life and businesses – we rarely even lather up for the full minute! In this sound-bite society of ours, we want it now, we want it short, we want it easy and we want it fast–like the guy standing impatiently in front of the microwave, snapping his fingers saying, “hurry up, hurry, up, I haven’t got all minute!”
That’s the culture we live in.
As leaders we have the opportunity to bring out the best in ourselves and other people, but it takes Time! Something we think there is just too little of in this day and age. But do you want to know a secret? You may find this difficult to believe, but we actually have as many minutes in the hour and hours in the day as our ancestors of yesteryear. I KNOW! Crazy, huh?! Time, apparently, is not the issue. How we chose to spend our time is.
The secret to solving human problems is written on our shampoo bottles–the most operative word being Repeat. Think about it this way: when tracking your stocks, you don’t look at just a single day of performance to determine value. You look across time and trends; you take the ups and the downs into perspective as a normal part of the process. So how then did we get so easily seduced into thinking that one singular experience will make for long-lasting change, either in our own lives or those of the people we’re trying to help?
Change doesn’t happen over night; it happens over time. And it’s time for leaders to realize that addressing the surface issues, picking off the low hanging fruit of a person’s challenges, talking with them once for a few minutes between emails and expecting them to be “fixed” doesn’t really solve anything. Lets face it: lessons fade, band-aids come off, and we have to repeat. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with the person we are talking with; it’s just a truth of life.
So I ask again: Are you seeking to create systemic, long-lasting, challenge-resistant change? Repetition, depth, growth through practice, learning through continued experience–those are the things that make that kind of change. We don’t get any of that in the one-shot support system.
The truth is, helping someone in the moment is not the same as helping them achieve their long-term goals. If you’re in a position to help bring out the best in another person, return again to the directions on your shampoo bottle: Wet, Lather, Rinse, Repeat. In other words, be willing to dive deep and challenge them repeatedly, over time, and to step into longer term commitments and change.
1) Wet: Engage in sincere, insatiably curious conversations with people to fully understand their goals and motivations.
2) Lather: Be willing to sit with it for a period of time, dive deep by asking clarifying questions and seeking to understand what they mean, not just what they say.
3) Rinse: Turn it into an action step, something they can go out and do, feel or experience.
4) Repeat: Check in with them on the results and dig deeper as you get to understand them more and they begin to trust your sincerity.
Not only does the process make your hair shiny and clean, using it with people will allow those you lead to begin to trust that you are committed to them for the long haul.
