When it comes to relationships, personal, professional or otherwise, sometimes–okay, most times–we’ve got to cut each other some slack. Fair? Oh, how often I hear people say, “Our relationship is fair, equitable, 50/50 even, we each do our fair share…” Sounds good, right? For in every relationship, we’ve got to each pull our own weight. We’ve got to contribute equally to the whole. We’ve got to be equitable. But what happens when someone falls short? I’ll tell you what: You have a gap. When you have fair share you have no buffer, and those relationships tend to ring with phrases like, “It’s not fair!” and the “I already did this, he needs to do that!” Those kind of relationships keep score, and want everything to be even, equal, and, well, fair.
Well, where’s that written, that life is fair?
It’s not about fair. It’s about investment. It’s about holding each other up and filling in the gaps–and doing it in a way that you’re not allowing resentment to so much as enter the equation, much less fester. It’s about having grace and cutting each other some slack. Because the truth is, in any relationship there are going to be days when one of you doesn’t have the energy to give “your fair share.” But if you always aim to hold up as much of the relationship as you possibly can – fair or not – then it doesn’t matter when either or both fall short because there will always be a buffer. You will be there to support the other, with no strings attached, when they need it–and they’ll be able to do that for you. It’s a scary thing, of course–giving more than your fair share and not keeping score. After all, it’s not fair.
