Ever Wonder How to Make A Big Change?
I’m talkin’ BIG change–like a new career or moving cities. A lot of people are unhappy in their current jobs, current lives, current circumstances — but not a lot of people know what to do about that. So they just sit in their discomfort, like an infant sitting in a dirty diaper; many of them dwelling on the negative, some resigned to the discomfort found in the familiar.
It’s usually at this stage most people make the change-derailing mistake of asking “how” questions: How do I make this decision? How will I know what to do? How will it happen? How do I fix this?! Truly poor questions indeed.
Remember in school when they taught us how to write, they taught us to address the six key elements of the story: Who, What, Where, When, Why & How?
Notice the word that comes last.
To make a real change in our life, we have to take time to think about what we actually want and why. Knowing what you want is the first step towards getting there! Even if you don’t see any way those desires could equate to the change you seek, it’s important to focus on positive possibility. ‘How’ pretty much always follows a “W” question: How do I get there? Where? See? Without the Where, you can’t answer the How!
Before I started coaching, I was unhappy in my job, too. I knew I needed a change — I just didn’t know what that change was going to be, or “how” to go about finding it. It took a lot of questioning and soul-searching to realize: I love helping people think differently. That’s what I thrive on. The problem is, I thought with dismay, there’s no job where I can make a living doing that! I couldn’t see the ‘how.’ But the more clear I got on the ‘what,’ the more I articulated it and shared it, the more I felt the feeling of what it would be like… the more my “reticular activator” kicked in and the more things I could see.
Then one day my wife was home sick, watching Oprah and BAM! Coaching came along. She listened to a guest, clicked record on the ol’ VCR and called me to say she’s got a surprise for me. Instantly I had my How. And the crux of it is this: I would never have even noticed or recognized coaching as an opportunity if I had not done that questioning in the first place that got me clear on what I wanted, why I wanted it and who I would be if I ever got it.
Have the courage to ask yourself heavy questions.
