Leadership often feels like walking a tightrope. We strive to balance our intentions with the impact our actions have on those around us. Yet, there’s a layer to leadership that can be easily overlooked — unintentional behavior.
In my last post, I warned about the invisible and often disastrous impacts of this behavior. I talked about how unintentional actions can shape team dynamics and why leaders must address these behaviors for stronger connections. Today, we’re talking about how leaders can recognize those unintentional behaviors and leverage that understanding to create a culture of awareness and growth.
It’s in the small, often unnoticed actions or words that, while not meant to harm, can create an environment of exclusion or misunderstanding. This reality was driven home in a recent conversation I had with a client who faced an unexpected challenge within their team (the same one I talked about in my last post).
Picture this: A group of three colleagues, who have worked together for over eight years, share an unspoken bond. They finish each other’s sentences, anticipate each other’s needs, and navigate their work with a seamless rhythm. They’re a well-oiled machine. But then, they hired a fourth person, someone who could have brought fresh energy and ideas to the table. Yet, it didn’t work out — the new hire left feeling isolated, like an outsider in an exclusive clique. It wasn’t intentional; the original trio never meant to be exclusionary. But intentions don’t always align with impact.
When I asked my client if they could identify any behaviors or communication styles that might have contributed to this outcome, he paused. The question made him sit back and really think. After a moment, he began to acknowledge subtle, unintentional behaviors that might have created a sense of exclusion. This was an eye-opener for him and his team, leading them to reflect on what they need to be more mindful of as they prepare to welcome another new hire.
This situation underscores a crucial leadership lesson: Awareness is power. It’s not enough to have good intentions; we must also be aware of how our actions are received and the environment they create. If our team members are feeling disconnected, undervalued, or unsupported, it’s our responsibility to step back and ask, “What role might I have played in this?”
Leadership isn’t about perfection — it’s about growth. It’s about being willing to look in the mirror and see beyond our intentions to understand the actual impact of our behavior. It’s about creating an environment where everyone feels included, valued, and empowered to contribute.
This experience also highlights the importance of maintaining flexibility in our leadership approach. Just like muscles need to be flexible to support the body’s movements, leaders need to be adaptable to the needs of their team. If we’re rigid in our ways, we risk pulling the whole structure out of alignment. But with self-awareness and a commitment to growth, we can lead our teams with the strength and flexibility needed to navigate the complexities of today’s workplace.
Leadership is a journey, not a destination. It requires ongoing reflection, learning, and adjustment. But the rewards — stronger teams, more inclusive environments, and ultimately, greater success — are well worth the effort.
