“We have so much more in common than what separates us.” That assertion from Vice President Kamala Harris is one we can all agree with, regardless of politics — but I am surprised how often it’s dismissed. Why?
Perhaps, because our brains are wired to seek danger, not safety.
We all know this, right? The reptilian brain? It’s an instinct as old as the savanna, when survival meant constantly scanning the horizon for threats. That vigilance can — and often does — overshadow the beauty and connection around us.
Even today, with no tigers lurking in the shadows, we remain hyper-focused on potential and perceived harm. This instinct plays out in relationships, workplaces, and society. We seek to change others so we feel safe. If everyone agrees with us, the dimestore logic in our head goes, the world feels less threatening. That may be true on the surface, but it hides far more than it reveals — and does little to solve problems and a lot to kick them down the road.
Curiosity is more than an antidote to fear. When we shift from judgment to curiosity, we begin to ask better questions:
- What do we share?
- What values connect us?
- What do they know that I don’t?
- How can we make this better together?
- Where is my logic flawed?
- How can we help each other?
- Do we HAVE to agree?
- Does disagreement actually harm us in some way? (Surprisingly, so often, it does not.)
The beloved T.V. character Ted Lasso captures this beautifully in saying: “Be curious, not judgmental” (he mistakenly attributes these words to Walt Whitman, according to Snopes). This insatiable curiosity redirects our focus from division to connection, from threat to understanding and possibility.
Here’s the key: being curious doesn’t mean ignoring differences — or worse, threats. It means starting from common ground. When we focus on what unites us, we become less of a threat to others, and they, in turn, feel less threatened by us. This opens the door for meaningful dialogue, growth, and even change.
Curiosity won’t solve every problem or resolve every disagreement, but it has the power and potential to build a bridge. And on that bridge, even the smallest connections can become the foundation for something bigger.
If you think your team or organization might benefit from a bit more curiosity, I’d love to help you explore this more. Contact me today to get started.
Here’s to building more bridges!
Photo by Sawada Kedavra on Unsplash
