Ever been in a meeting where you’re speaking, but it feels like no one is actually hearing you? Maybe you’ve raised a concern, only to have it dismissed — or worse, ignored. There’s something about the workplace dynamic that can make us feel invisible, especially when communication is uneven or unclear. It’s frustrating, but here’s the truth: Most of the time, people aren’t intentionally ignoring you. They’re just unaware of the impact their actions (or inactions) are having.
I’ve seen this happen time and again in leadership and team dynamics. We assume others know what we’re feeling — after all, isn’t it obvious? But unless we articulate our thoughts clearly, we leave too much room for misinterpretation. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling misunderstood, ask yourself:
- Did I clearly communicate how I feel?
- Have I shared the reality of my experience, or did I expect them to just “get it”?
- Am I giving them the space to respond honestly?
- Can I ask a better question to get a better answer?
One of the biggest mistakes we make in communication is assuming rather than asking. Instead of presuming someone understands our perspective, we need to ensure they do. That’s where curiosity and directness come into play. I’ve written before about the importance of transparency in leadership — when we avoid tough conversations, we don’t eliminate problems; we just allow them to fester. A culture of silence breeds assumptions, and those assumptions create tension.
So how do we make sure we’re being heard?
- Be Clear and Direct – Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Ambiguity leads to confusion, so don’t dance around the issue. (This is not to be interpreted as “Brutal Honesty,” which I despise. Brutal honesty is just an excuse to be brutal. “Direct” refers to clarity of communication; your tone can still be kind.)
- Invite a Real Conversation – Communication is a two-way street. Ask for feedback. Make sure the other person has the opportunity to share their perspective.
- Use Specific Examples – Instead of saying, “I feel overlooked,” say, “In yesterday’s meeting, I shared an idea, but it wasn’t acknowledged. That felt frustrating.”
Leadership isn’t just about speaking — it’s about ensuring your message lands. And that means taking ownership of how you communicate. I often ask leaders, “Are you evaluating your communication the way you evaluate your business decisions?” If not, you should be. Spoiler alert: Just like any other strategy, your communication needs to be assessed and adapted to be truly effective.
If you want to be heard, start by making sure you’re being clear. Take the time to express your thoughts in a way that invites understanding. When you do, you’re not just improving communication — you’re building stronger, more connected relationships.
Photo by kyle smith on Unsplash
