Over the last few weeks, I’ve introduced you to some ideas about our subconscious that I’ve been mulling over for quite a while now (it’s an endlessly fascinating topic). First, I introduced you to the power of the subconscious, as well as the language of the subconscious (emotions and story). We talked about how important it is to know what you’re looking for and better understand the stories we tell ourselves.
Today, I’d like to give you some practical tools to help you tell new stories, look for something different, and change your subconscious mind for the better.
In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to operate on autopilot, reacting to situations without fully understanding our own motivations or the impact of our actions on others.
It’s easy to let our subconscious take the driver seat and leave it at that.
Yet, there exists a profound opportunity to enhance our lives and relationships through a practice of consciousness — a deliberate effort to understand ourselves and our interactions more deeply.
1. The Desire for Change
Becoming more conscious begins with a simple yet profound step: the desire to change. It sounds straightforward — and perhaps too obvious — but many people resist this initial urge. As humans, we’re hard-wired to hate change.
There are those of us who prefer to navigate through life without questioning our beliefs or behaviors, often oblivious to how our actions affect those around us. We want to act how we like without bearing any of the responsibility — or the consequences. But embracing the desire for change opens the door to self-awareness and personal growth. And it honors those around us by conveying to those you lead that things can be better, even if they’re good, and you’re as open to evolution as you desire them to be.
2. Finding Your Mechanism
Each person’s journey towards consciousness is unique. For some, it’s as simple as setting a daily reminder on their phone — a moment to pause and reflect on their thoughts and emotions. (You might ask yourself, “What are you thinking about at this moment? What do you care about? What do you want to be different about the experience you are currently having?”)
Or you might use physical reminders, like carrying a touch-stone in your pocket or creating rituals with friends or colleagues to check in and support each other’s growth — and remind one another you’re not alone.
These mechanisms serve as prompts to consciously choose our responses rather than react impulsively as we go about our day.
3. Rewriting Your Story
Self-awareness involves recognizing the stories we tell ourselves — the narratives that shape our beliefs and actions. Once we know what they are, we have the power to rewrite these stories and align them with our true desires and values.
You might start by considering what you’d have to tell yourself on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis in order for that to be your foundational thought — instead of what your RAS wants to keep feeding you. For instance, it could be as simple as reminding yourself each morning that it will be a good/productive/fun/______ day, or creating your Monday to-do list on Friday afternoon so Mondays can be less Monday-ish and more in control.
This process isn’t easy; it requires consistent effort and a willingness to challenge ingrained beliefs. However, the rewards — greater clarity, healthier relationships, and a stronger sense of purpose — are well worth the work.
4. Understanding Conflict
Becoming more conscious has the power to deeply alter the conflicts in our life and work for the better.
Conflict often stems from a perceived or real challenge to deep-seated core beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. According to the Gottman Institute, 69% of all conflicts are unsolvable because they’re rooted in our personal core beliefs and self-image. They influence how we perceive situations and interact with others — and they define our personal trigger points.
By understanding these underlying beliefs and acknowledging their influence, you can approach conflicts with empathy for yourself and others. And instead of asking who’s right and who’s wrong (merely pointing fingers), you can meet challenges collaboratively, asking, “What’s the real problem we’re trying to solve here? What are we actually in conflict about? And what is the outcome we are attempting to achieve?”
Once you can cut through the crap, so to say, and understand the real issues at hand, this opens up an entirely new world of understanding, connection, and growth.
5. Embracing Diverse Perspectives
In the metaphorical field described by Rumi, where people with diverse opinions gather beyond the binary construct of right and wrong, there is an opportunity for rich, meaningful conversations. Becoming conscious involves embracing these diverse perspectives, recognizing that everyone’s reality is shaped by their unique experiences and beliefs. Instead of viewing differences as obstacles, we can see them as opportunities for growth and learning.
I once read that a sign of a genius isn’t in having all the answers but, rather, being aware that you don’t. Smart people aren’t driven by being right, they’re driven by learning more and more about a topic that interests them, or how to solve a problem.
Bringing It All Together
Becoming more conscious is not a destination but a continuous journey — a commitment to self-discovery, empathy, and personal responsibility. It requires us to question our assumptions, rewrite our stories, and engage with others with openness and understanding.
By cultivating this awareness, we not only enhance our own lives but also contribute positively to the world around us. Before you is an opportunity to foster deeper connections and collective growth.
Believe me, it won’t always be pretty, but the journey is worth the growing pains. I invite you to join me on this wild ride, growing and transforming — one moment of awareness at a time.
And if you’d like one-on-one help working through any of what I’ve discussed here — or in my earlier posts — I’d love to connect. Get in touch today.
