In the traditional sense, leadership is often tied to titles and positions of power, but true leadership is a behavior. Whether you’re in middle management, a dispatcher, or even navigating tricky relationships with family, the influence you wield is not limited to your job title. It comes from how you choose to act.
So, what do you do when those in leadership roles around you fail to lead? Simple: be a leader yourself. At any point, regardless of your role, you can initiate a conversation that prompts awareness, even with those above you. It might feel surprising to them — perhaps out of character or unexpected — but by engaging in an open, respectful dialogue, you invite understanding and empathy.
Even for you, this might sound really uncomfortable or anxiety inducing. But trust me when I say it can make a big difference.
Imagine asking someone on your team, “Hey, when you said this, I felt it could be interpreted as ‘x.’ Is that what you intended?” It’s a chance to create a shared moment of reflection. It can be eye-opening for both parties, revealing different interpretations of the same behavior.
Often, the other person will respond, “That’s not what I meant. Let me explain.” These conversations allow for mutual growth, and this is where leadership shines — it’s not about being in charge but about fostering communication.
But here’s a key point we often overlook: Just because we change our behavior doesn’t mean others will immediately notice or interpret it the way we intended. We assume that if we adjust our actions, others will understand our intentions and follow suit.
Reality? It doesn’t always work that way.
People are skeptical. They might think, “Oh, they must’ve read a new book or attended a seminar. Good for them.” (Cue eye-roll.) That skepticism leads people to think the change is temporary — that “this too shall pass.” They may not trust it at first, waiting to see if it sticks — or worse — interpreting it as untrustworthy, manipulative behavior.
This is why being explicit in your leadership approach is essential. If you’re trying to shift how you lead — whether it’s with a team, your boss, or even within your family — be clear about it. Say something like, “Can I try something different with you?” or “Do you feel this tension between us? Would you like it to be different? I would. And I have a few ideas, are you open and willing to try something?”
These kinds of brave, open conversations are an antidote to skepticism. They build trust and foster goodwill like almost nothing else can.
And that’s where true leadership begins — with honesty, vulnerability, and the courage to create change, regardless of your title. Leadership is a choice — a daily commitment to making others feel seen, heard, and understood.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
