In the world of leadership, dealing with power dynamics and tough conversations is an art. Recently, I faced a situation where a newly-promoted finance director, known for his bold style and authority over three statewide offices, found himself inadvertently slowing down operations by micromanaging.
You’ve heard it said, in words attributed to 19th century English historian and writer Lord Acton, that “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
Well, suddenly, this finance director needed to know everything. He wanted all decisions to pass through him. He quickly became a bottleneck. But his personality and approach to leadership made it difficult for anyone to question him or push back.
The challenge was clear: how do you address such authority without causing defensiveness or stepping on toes? How do you have difficult conversations with someone in a position of power?
The short answer: Assessment. (I stand by my earlier assertion that assessment is critical to your success as a leader.)
The trick, from my years coaching executives, is to approach it with empathy and understanding. Bring the most generous assumption forward. Instead of pointing fingers, start by understanding why he wants to know every detail.
You might say something like, “Hey, Joe, I’ve noticed you’ve been asking for deeper and deeper detail which makes me wonder if you are finding what you’re looking for. How can I help? What problem are you trying to solve? I might have some insights or creative ways to help you get there.”
It’s about helping him make informed decisions and ensuring everyone’s on the same page.
You might have heard me suggest before, “clarify and verify to satisfy.”
Case in point: “Let’s make sure you’re getting what you need,” opens up a dialogue rather than a confrontation. It invites discussing unintended consequences, like delays or information overload, which can arise from his approach.
Drawing from negotiation wisdom in Getting to Yes, effective communication means not just stating your view but really getting their perspective. Aim to be capable of stating your opponent’s position better than even they can. When they see you understand their concerns, trust builds, and solutions become clearer.
Put more plainly, navigating power dynamics and tough conversations isn’t about avoiding conflict but about turning it into a chance for mutual understanding and growth. By approaching these talks with empathy and a focus on shared goals, we can foster a culture of respect and collaboration that benefits everyone involved.
What’s more, these principles aren’t just for leaders — they’re for anyone looking to build better relationships and achieve more together.
Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
