When you drop a pebble into a pond, it creates a splash of concentric ripples that work their way to the outer most edges. If, as a leader, you see yourself as the pebble — just trying to make a splash — then you are missing the whole point of leadership. Your job is not to make waves and then disappear. The pebble is the idea, the disruptive technology, the new thought — those things that without real and genuine leadership to carry their momentum, would just sink to the bottom. The pond, of course, is the community you lead: a company, a family, yourself, or a nation. The first wave of that pebble always touches the people closest to you: those who already agree with you, those ‘on your side.’ To get to the ones on the edge takes much longer; they can’t be reached until those ripples work their way out.
We can’t change the people who are polar opposites of us — or can we? When topics get heavy, talk gets serious and tempers flare… leadership often gets pushed aside. We stop trying to connect with people, to assuage their fears, or find the value in their perspective; we too often simply shut them down to try and prove they are wrong. Leadership, however, asks so much more of us, but it doesn’t ask of us the impossible. It asks us to be the ripple, to take the time to make gentle connections, to work our way out one ripple at a time, realizing that we don’t reach those who feel so very far from us with the splash. We reach them over time with the ripples. Can it work? Yes. Watch this TEDTalk. You will be glad you did. It shows us that people change, not by the splash, but by the gentle ripples that flow towards them. It’s the big issues that seem so black and white, right and wrong, but when we are willing to talk, to listen, to connect, to care, we can reach and lead even those that are polar opposite of us.
