In any negotiation or team setting, establishing ground rules is common practice — and for good reason. When union and management sit down to bargain, for example, they start by agreeing on the basics: no cell phones, no foul language, no name-calling. This step is crucial because it sets the tone for how everyone will engage with each other. Yet, as I see it, defining these rules is just the first step.
Too often, we stop at setting the rules, assuming they’ll magically guide everyone’s behavior. As long as we say it, everyone will do it, right? But a critical piece of the puzzle is missing: what happens when someone breaks the rules?
Imagine someone pulls out their phone mid-discussion. Do we instantly judge them as disrespectful or dismissive? It’s a natural reaction to feel slighted, to question their commitment. But our reactions, left unchecked, can easily become judgments, silently shifting how we view each other.
Establishing ground rules is essential, but knowing how to handle rule-breaking is even more important. It gives us a structure for those inevitable slip-ups and shows us how to respond without defaulting to judgment.
This approach builds a culture of accountability and respect, allowing us to treat each other as human — flawed, sometimes distracted, but capable of respect and learning. So, yes, set the rules, but go further and create a plan for the moments when someone falters. Respect isn’t just a boundary; it’s a commitment to how we handle missteps, too.
Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash
