Sorry for the click-bate title, but it’s true. They aren’t allowed.
Let me back up. This weekend we watched Whiplash (admittedly we’re a bit behind on our movie watching) and if you haven’t seen it, suffice it to say that, while an oddly and strange-to-admit great movie, it can be summed up this way: A tyrannical instructor/band leader in a prestigious New York music conservatory achieves greatness in musicians by belittling, cursing, yelling, hitting, threatening, manipulating, interrogating, intimidating, and verbally and emotionally abusing his students. Despite the common knowledge of such behavior, he is left to do so because he achieves great results — they repeatedly win national competitions — up to the point that a past student hangs himself. Eventually he gets his due in more ways than one, but not necessarily in the way we might like. Other than losing his job and driving one student to tackle him on stage out of anger, he has no real consequences for his actions. The character’s argument for his behavior is that it weeds out the weak and creates the greats. Though, ironically, he also admits that he has yet to produce a great such as Loius Armstrong or Buddy Rich, while never realizing or admitting that the reason might well be his tactics.
Now imagine for a moment a woman in that role: yelling, intimidating, belittling, calling her students derogatory names. Do you think the students would have responded, submitted and tolerated such behavior for as long? If our current election cycle has taught us anything, it’s that women have to play the game differently. Because we do respond differently to aggression in women than we do to men. And by “we” I mean all of us — just look at how the votes split. How often is a woman called “bossy” for the exact same behavior a man would be called “confident”?
Sure, some men make great leaders, but so do women. I’m not saying women can’t be cruel and abusive leaders, but we’ve got to end the double standard that too often celebrates men for bad behavior and admonishes women as “bitchy” for simply being strong. I hope no leader operates the way the teacher did in Whiplash, but I will say — it seems more likely that a woman would lead with different tactics. There’s even research to prove that right. And today, as I write this, it’s Louisa May Alcott’s birthday. How apropos.
Who are the women leaders in your life, and how can you build them up today?
