Leadership isn’t just about decisions — it’s about awareness. Often, the way we react in the moment shapes more than the outcome of a meeting; it shapes trust, team dynamics, and long-term engagement.
I’ve noticed in my coaching that many leaders operate from a place of instinctive responsibility: “I have to be responsible and figure out how to fix things.” That sense of urgency can be stability in action, but it can also blind us to the deeper triggers at play — both in ourselves and in the people we lead.
Take a client I recently worked with. She was deeply conscientious, constantly stepping in to fix problems, prevent mistakes, and carry the weight she felt was hers alone. At first glance, it looked like strong leadership. But as we dug deeper, patterns that were rooted in her past began to emerge: expectations she had taken on too young, perfectionism ingrained over years, and a belief that any misstep reflected on her worth.
The challenge isn’t just identifying these triggers — it’s noticing the moment before the reaction. The instant your team acts in a way that frustrates or worries you, pause. Ask yourself: What’s happening here? What is the real need or fear underlying my behavior? This moment of awareness creates space for understanding rather than overcorrection.
Sometimes, the challenges leaders uncover go beyond what they can address alone. Mental health struggles, long-held trauma, or deeply internalized beliefs may be present. Like remodeling a bathroom only to discover black mold behind the walls, some situations require specialized care — whether for you or for someone on your team. You can’t force it, but you can create a safe, invitational space. I’ve had clients realize in our work that what they needed was more than coaching. If you find yourself in the same situation, reach out. Access support. You don’t have to carry it alone.
And if you notice in the people you lead reactions that seem disproportionate to circumstances, extend the same approach: Notice. Check in. Let them know: “I want to support you. Here’s what I can offer, and here’s help you might need beyond me.”
Being trigger-aware isn’t just self-protection — it’s leadership. It’s the ability to recognize your own reactions, understand the context of others, and act with intention rather than impulse. It allows you to foster resilience, strengthen trust, and build teams capable of growth — even when challenges feel personal, urgent, or uncomfortable.
Leadership isn’t about moving fast. It’s about pausing at the right moment, seeing the deeper truth, and responding in a way that honors both people and outcomes.
Photo by Salah Regouane on Unsplash
