It’s a simple question; are your 10-12-14 hour days and your 6 and 7 day work weeks a function of a highly developed work ethic, or are you behaving that way out of guilt? Do you really enjoy your work that much; are you are empowered by such a commitment? Do enjoy the overall experience? Or, do you feel drained and out of control, where other people and circumstances are pulling the strings of your life? Are you feeling bad because you aren’t able to get the work done in a “normal” work week and “should” be spending more time with family?
Consider this. A strong work ethic doesn’t create quilt and drain your power and emotional energy. If you are empowered by the choices you are making then you are in control of your life and your dedication is a choice. Moreover, you likely aren’t regretting what you are giving up in order to live this work schedule you have chosen.
If, however, the opposite is true and you are regretting the time you aren’t spending work and your mind is often where you are not, i.e. at work when you are on vacation, or wishing you were with your kids every Saturday you spend at the office, you might be operating more from guilt than work ethic. So what do you do?
First, get clear on what a work ethic really is and isn’t. “Work Ethic” implies a positive thing. It’s “ethical” and possesses a certain moral quality. But it isn’t obsession. Working long hours has less to do with work ethic and more to do with the fact that working is likely more fun to you than the alternatives. Some enjoy skiing on the weekends, others enjoy putting the finishing touches on a big deal or catching up at the office during the downtime. It’s not about ethic, it’s about fun. Where do you enjoy spending your time? Work ethic isn’t demonstrated by the amount of time you put in, it’s demonstrated by the level of quality and commitment you put in. People with a high work ethic give it their all when they are at work, will go above and beyond when appropriate, but realize that you could work 24/7 and still not get everything done. Therefore, part of the ethic demands one to have the ability to know when to say no to long hours, so they can say yes to themselves; and separate, clear their head, recharge their batteries and spend the appropriate amount of time with family and friends. This way, when they are back at work, they can be wholly engaged and committed instead of lamenting what they are missing or giving up.
Second, Get clear about your obligations and responsibilities and then let go of those that aren’t yours. Too often when people confuse work ethic with guilt, they take on responsibilities that aren’t their to take, thus adding to their burden and work load unnecessarily. Unload the superfluous and take responsibility for your responsibilities and leave unto others their own responsibilities. If you are a manager then by all means step into the coaching role and empower others. Here is where the old cliche about giving a fish or teaching to fish becomes very apropos.
Third, learn to forgive yourself. Too many people have a tendency to drop into negative judgment about what they aren’t capable of and thus over compensate for these judgements with time. Negative judgments seldom (if ever) serve you will, so drop the negative part. If you find yourself in judgment, remember the words of Sargent Friday: “The facts ma’am, just the facts.” What are you being judgmental about? If there were no positive or negative emotion layered on top, what might the judgment reveal about how to accomplish the task or deal with the shortcoming? If you can look at the places where guilt tends to rise, you can often find the solution you seek. However, if all you experience is the guilt, all you see is what you aren’t. Forgive yourself. Give yourself permission to make a mistake. Then ask yourself what the facts are about the situation and what you can do about those facts. Which leads to the last point.
Forth, be willing to ask for help. A positive work ethic doesn’t mean you have to carry the burden on your own. Learn to deligate or ask for assistance. No one wants to be dumped on, but most people are willing to work beside you and assist. And remember, this request can go all four ways. You can ask those who report you as well as those you report to, and you can be asked by those who report to you and by those you report to (remember point 2, however). Not only can this help lighten the load, it sets you up as a true leader, one who knows how to engage others, and get things done with and through people in a positive way – no guilt – and that’s a great work ethic.
