At one of my recent Team Retreats, I asked the audience: What is the question you have most been avoiding? (team dynamics was the purpose of our day together). It proved a powerful catalyst for the day’s work.
What we find in most human interactions – personal, teams, families – is a lot people avoiding a tough question/dialogue that is imperative to address — and they’re avoiding it for a good and logical reason – fear. For many, just naming this unspoken question can be terrifying, much less having the courage to address it.
Do you find this as strange as I do, that we have this tendency in this country to avoid the difficult and the real conversations that need to be had?
It’s ironic because we live in a nation founded on the democratic principle–of the people, by the people, for the people. We all have a right and a say, and dare I say it, an obligation to communicate and address the difficult issues around us. This idea of having a voice and being heard is key in our society. And yet as a nation we are all too often afraid to have the real conversations. Instead, we’ve resorted to an ‘us and them’ mentality. You’re either right or you’re wrong; you’re with me or against me. There is too little collaboration going on, and very little solution-minded dialogue.
In truth, human beings are way too diverse to be “either/or.” Instead, we are a collection of “Ands!” I can be fiscally conservative AND socially liberal or visa-versa. I can be pro-environement AND pro-business, pro profit AND pro health care… We are collectively rich and diverse and our greatest good comes from our courage to recognize and honor all those “AND’s” and have the dialogues that moves us towards solutions that unify rather than divide. True leadership has the courage to ask the bold questions AND the courage to sit down and listen, to allow for the dialogue their courageous asking will generate. Respect that diversity of opinion. Ask the questions you’re afraid to ask.
What is that one question for you, that if you were to address would have the greatest positive impact on your life, family, team or business? Do you have the courage to ask it AND the courage to listen to the responses AND the courage to inspire a true dialogue? The team I mentioned above did, and it was an amazing day.
