Recently, a client shared with me a story about his work. He’d been hired as the music director of a fledgling program at a university. Under his tutelage and amazing direction, the new program grew by leaps and bounds up to a recent show which had completely sold out—unprecedented in the old program. He was glowing with how great—er, good, it was.
Interestingly, he corrected himself mid-sentence; in mid-word, in fact, he down-graded his praise from “great” to “good,” FOR A SOLD OUT SHOW!!
Whoa, Trigger, back up! What gives with that?
It was then that he sheepishly admitted that another school he admired and aspired to would not have been impressed with their show in the slightest. This other school had a renowned music program, and had they watched this man’s show he felt they would have shrugged their shoulders and said, “It’s good.” That’s all.
“Their standard,” he said, “is so much higher than ours.”
What’s wrong with this thinking? Would you compare sixth graders to doctorate students? Would you hold untrained, aspiring musicians of any age to the standard of performance of a Beyonce or Elton John? Of course not. This man’s school grew because of his work. He took it from chopsticks to Beethoven when few believed it was possible. That’s amazing!
You see, in our growth into the courage to lead ourselves and others, it’s not just where we are that stands in isolation, it’s how much we’ve grown in the process. We can’t run before we walk, or walk before we crawl. And this man took this program from walking to the Olympic trials! That’s incredible. And it’s a necessary step before he takes them from the courage to compete to the podium winning gold medals. It’s a progression, an impressive progression that he diminished by settling with a comparison. Aspire? Admire? Set high goals and standards? By all means! Then honor and respect the incremental growth to get there.
We too often have the habit of diminishing our success based on the comparison of someone else’s measurement of success, rather than the value of our own achievements. Stop that! Look at how much you’ve grown, and stop comparing yourself to others. It’s not helpful, it’s not healthy, and it takes your eyes off of what matters: The amazing level of greatness you’re going to achieve next.
