A blog community member recently asked me a truly quintessential question: When you come to a fork in the road, how do you know which path to take? Well, my first response is, congratulations! You have a choice, and that beats no choice any day of the week. So how do you make the “right” choice, which is what’s at the heart of this question – the “right” path. Well, if Robert Frost got it right, you “take the road less traveled by.” What is brilliant about Frost’s response is it busts Newton’s 1st Law of Physics: An object in motion remains in motion until met by an opposing force. Following the road more travelled by is too often an act of momentum or inertia, not choice. Being conscious and deliberate in your choice is the first important step because in the end, either you choose it or it chooses you.
This question also ties back to the leadership question I am oft heard repeating, because I believe it to be so valuable: What is the story you want to tell with your life? If you know the story, then the path should be easy to choose: choose the one that aligns best with your story. If they both seem to align, then which one will provide the greatest sense of what you want to experience along the way? Are you seeking joy? Meaning? Exhilaration? Purpose? Peace?
If you don’t know the story you want to tell with your life or the emotions you deeply want to experience, if you can’t answer that question confidently, then consider a coaching consult and the opportunity to think out loud. You can sign up with me here, if you like, and you can also begin the process on your own by asking yourself a few powerful questions and having the courage to answer them deeply and honestly. For instance:
1) What is currently missing in your life? What do you wish was there—but isn’t?
2) When in your past have you experienced the greatest joy in your life, and what was it? Put another way, what makes you light up?
3) When you get to the end of your life and look back, what would be the one thing you would most regret having not done or accomplished? And if you already accomplished it, then what was it and why? Then ask what’s the next one. If there isn’t a next one, then the real work begins.
Start there and see where it takes you. And after that, continue to engage yourself with insatiable curiosity. Keep asking yourself about your answers. Why did I say this? What do I mean by my response? What’s deeper? Don’t just answer and be done. Keep the insatiable curiosity going—always. And let me know if I can help.
