Steven's Own Words

The Problem With Conflict

Relationship expert and author John Gottman says 69% of all conflict is unresolvable -- That's the bad news. The good news: Conflict doesn't have to undermine relationships -- professional or personal. The simple reason so much conflict is unresolvable is that it...

How To Really Measure Engagement

Look up employee engagement stats and you will largely find depressing results: more than half still hate their job, are disengaged, and/or want to leave; too few managers are interacting in meaningful ways with their people. You'd think we'd have learned this lesson...

Occam’s Razor

I have often said adults are like children -- just with bigger allowances, and more freedoms. We can be just as irresponsible, just as excited, just as confused, just as inquisitive as a 6-year-old. And, like a parent, one of the toughest jobs a leader can have is the...

The Show Must Go On

Consider this: the actors performing Hamlet deliver the same lines if it's a free show in the park or a special appearance at Carnegie Hall, no matter the size of the audience. At least, we in the audience hope for as much, don't we? Those performers know what some of...

How History Can Build A Great Team

I can't stop thinking about our Eastern European vacation this summer. If you've ever been to Europe, you'll know that one thing always stands out: History. Europe has couches older than our entire country, and that got me thinking. The First Nations of America can...

The Hidden Value Of Curiosity

The Hidden Value Of Curiosity

My family and I just got back from an amazing vacation in Eastern Europe. While we were there, we stayed with a Hungarian family, the family of an exchange student we hosted last summer. Our time with them was incredible, and in hindsight I've been struck by a...

You Don’t Have To Have The Answers

One of the most important truths to remember as a leader is this: Just because you're in charge, doesn't mean you have all the answers. In fact, often, the most powerful answers to the questions we struggle with the most come from the people we least expect. When...

Don’t Keep Us In The Dark

Don’t Keep Us In The Dark

There is a ‘leadership’ mindset out there which always leaves me flummoxed. I cannot understand why anybody, much less a leader of an organization hoping to be successful, would adhere to it. And yet, it is a mindset nearly as ubiquitous as any other: the...

Negotiation Is Not About Winning

Negotiation Is Not About Winning

Since we’re on a streak with posts on “negotiation,” I thought it essential to point out a lesson I learned in one of the titular books on the subject, “Getting To Yes,” written in the 80’s by two Harvard professors. This is the most powerful lesson I took away from...

Negotiation Means Defining Your Measurements

Negotiation Means Defining Your Measurements

Like we saw a few weeks ago, there inevitably will come a time in your career when you’ll have to convince someone else -- to change their mind. This is sales; this is, essentially, negotiation. When my client wanted to convince her boss to hire a co-leader team,...

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