In my last post, I introduced you to one of my favorite topics of late: the power of the subconscious mind (wasn’t Justin’s video amazing?). Today, we’re diving into the language of the subconscious. Buckle up.
The language of the subconscious is emotions and story.
Which is to say the subconscious is not driven by rational argument, logic, facts, and words. (Sorry to dash your hopes.)
Case in point: I can try to rationalize all the reasons I should exercise. It’s good for overall well being, helps to maintain a healthy weight, improves cholesterol levels and blood pressure, etc. But that alone doesn’t change my behavior.
The vast majority of the things driving our reactions and responses are coming from the stories and emotions of the subconscious.
The why of who you are and how you go about your life is deeply encoded in your subconscious mind, and to change it — to rewrite the DNA, in a sense — we have to first understand the language of emotions and story — and rewrite them.
I recently gave a Head Start talk entitled “The Evolution of Leadership.” It asked, How does leadership evolve? How does leadership cause evolution within your agency? Thanks to Darwin’s theory of evolution, we know that the evolution of a species affects the DNA of that species.
So what’s the leadership equivalent? How do you ensure that your impact on your work isn’t just another flash in the pan — or a collection of fleeting opinions that can be tossed out with the next change in leadership?
Sir Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” How do you lead so that you become a giant upon which future leaders stand rather than destroy and thereby impact the DNA of an organization? How do you, in essence, move from water to land, from walking on all fours to moving about as a biped? What is the leadership equivalent? You move forward! You change the DNA.
These are no small questions.
Perhaps the biggest thing we struggle with in relation to the subconscious — besides the massiveness of it all — is the feeling that we don’t want it to be true.
Like those influencers in Justin’s video, we want to believe we are in control and non-influenceable. We want to be able to look at our lives and our work and our choices and say, “Exercise is hard, but I understand the benefits of it. And I’m going to DO IT” — and actually be able to do it. When we fail or miss a few days, we are good at rationalizing it away. We have a hard time accepting the feeling of, “man I hate it,” or that there are unseen forces beyond our control.
Intellectually, we know exercise is beneficial, but our subconscious feels the negative emotion and energy. We don’t want to do things that don’t feel good or are hard.
And when we have thoughts like, “this is hard,” or I’m not good at it,” or “I don’t like it,” or “I’d rather be doing anything else,” the subconscious kicks in and builds the story with the evidence to support those thoughts. Simply put, it finds what you’re looking for.
It’s like the subconscious is saying, “Yeah, exercise is hard! You don’t like it. And why would I put you in a situation you hate that doesn’t feel good?”
That’s a subconscious story.
Whether you like it or not, your subconscious feeds you the information that supports your feelings. And you can argue, in your head, that that doesn’t make any sense. You intellectually understand how this stuff works! That’s true. But your subconscious is still telling you stories constantly.
This doesn’t mean you can’t override the subconscious. Your willpower can overpower your subconscious. For a little while at least. Longer for others.
But the odds are not in your favor that you will be able to sustain that — unless you change the story and the feelings.
Willpower is a diminishing resource. If all we have is brute force, we will eventually tire. We all start out our day with some strong belief or an idea of something that we want, whether that involves eating well, exercising, not smoking, etc. But at the end of a stressful day — whether that’s at 3pm or 7pm or midnight — we end our day exhausted.
Many of us find ourselves in that same position, saying, “Fuck it, I’m having the donut. I deserve it.” Or “I need the cigarette. One glass of wine isn’t gonna kill me.”
There’s only so much that we can override in light of our body’s exhaustion; it’s like a weakened immune system for our emotions.
So if the subconscious mind is driven by emotions and story, and it’s next to impossible to overpower it with willpower (at least long-term), what’s a person to do? How do we rewrite the DNA? Tell a new story? Feel something different than before?
Keep an eye out for my next post. I’ll explain exactly that.
