It’s the comparison game.
You know what I’m talking about. You see someone, anyone, who’s doing better than you in your chosen career, hobby, skill… life, and it’s hard not to wonder why. You’ve done the work, too. You’ve put in the time. You’re just as talented—aren’t you? So why isn’t this or that happening for you, too?
We end up either beating ourselves up for some perceived failing or coming up with nasty thoughts about the other guy. The truth is, it’s impossible to know someone else’s full story. There could be any number of factors at play for them that you don’t know about. What’s more, you don’t need to know about them. Focusing on their success instead of your own work is like that old “joke” about resentment: Drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. Focusing on them only hurts you.
Instead, go the other way! One of the great secrets of success is separating yourself from the herd. It’s not a call for outrageous originality, it’s a call for outrageous individuality. BE YOU! No one can do it as well as you. Maintain your own path, regardless of what others may think or do—and regardless of comparison. Make your own choices. Trust yourself.
Seek help? Absolutely!
Learn from others? Without a doubt.
Then step into the courage to lead – you!
Personal leadership is about leading from your center and not from someone else’s. Robin Sharma, one of my mentors, often says that “Excuses are sold to you by your fears.” The same can be said of comparisons. These doubts and comparisons are a result of our fears being sold to us to hold us back, pretending to keep us safe. Screw your fears. Let them inform you, not rule you. Believe in yourself, focus on the task at hand, and put your all into it, regardless of where you stand in comparison to others. And the next time the fear shows up, shake its hand and welcome it to the party, because without it you aren’t dreaming big enough or pushing hard enough. Fear always shows up on the road to success.
Quit the comparison game.
Have a few bad habits you want to get rid of? Goals you want to achieve? If you’re looking for support and coaching through any of this, check out what I offer or feel free to email me. I’d love to chat.
Photo via BK on flickr here under the Creative Commons License.
